A holy day....

The day had come.

After suggesting to my Guiding Mistress about tongue piercing and suggesting what I perceived to be a great option for pleasure provision might be, it was agreed that I would be having this done.

The appointment was made and today was the day. As with anything in life, great ideas don't always come to fruition. So, perhaps not as you may expect and I didn't get it done, more I wasn't able to have the original idea completed due to my own physical limitations.

What have I got ?

Well, instead of the dual tongue piercings, I've had to go for just a singular piercing. Whilst I thought initially this might be a limitation, or not be able to provide pleasure properly. After some great, open and mutually kink minded conversation with 'Frankie' my piercer.....we worked out the most appropriate size once the initial healing is completed that could be the most beneficial for my Mistress, and that ultimately is what is most important.

Some may wonder why have this done in the first place. Well as earlier touched upon in one of my posts, its not about aesthetics or fashion piercing, this is about beginning to tailor both my mind and body towards pleasure provision in any conceivable way that I can for my Mistress. As a learned 'cuckold' I am having to learn and willingly embrace that what was once my cock (now locked in a pink chastity device) will likely never experience any form of sexual penetration in its natural state. So, I have to begin to think of ways in which I can please, pleasure and offer the most committed form of worship to my Mistress, and that is all that will ever matter.

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Not that I ever need any form of motivation in respect of my Mistress, but the above comment was received shortly after Mistress asked this morning about the swelling. The reference to 'grinding' is related to being kept chaste in a pink Holy trainer and just how aroused my Mistress makes me feel everyday with thoughts filled of Her.

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How did it feel. 

I have to say that what has been widely written as being one of the least painful piercings, I found strangely painful. Now, I've had nipples re pierced with scar tissue present, and a PA so those are the two I can compare to most directly. In hindsight maybe it wasn't the actual needle but the restriction of not being able to withdraw my tongue as a gag reflex. Anyway, its done and am very happy with the end result. So far so good and no major swelling that I can feel or see....so fingers crossed this may heal a little quicker than anticipated, which would be great as the healing bar used is a lot larger than what will be fitted for the long term.

Further to the tongue piercing, I also had my nipple rings changed to a more suitable colour Mistress had selected. The idea is that once healed Mistress would like to attach a dedicated chain through the larger gauge rings and be able to lead me into events when the opportunity arises. With this in mind and discussing different options, it was decided that while the nipples are still healing, it might be best to go for the barbells to help see out the remaining few weeks before they can be gauged up in size and can be used for play.

So, for the time being they look like this, which pleasingly met with Mistress's approval.

What next. Well, I am scheduled to go back to the piercing studio on the Bank Hol weekend to have the tongue piercing changed. I'm hoping that with the lack of swelling this morning it might indicate a slightly quicker healing time. If that's the case then hopefully mid to late next week I will aim to get it changed out into something similar to that below, which is a UV Ball in either pink or purple as Mistress may desire.

TBC

                                     

Relationship Responsibility

Responsibility. It's a word that can be easily used, but often misinterpreted and misunderstood.

A HotWife/cuckold dynamic is no different than a traditionally perceived relationship.

Ultimately it involves two committed people who have chosen to come together and made a commitment to one another. To work together, to communicate, to build trust, honour and a future in whatever way they desire, based upon the boundaries they have set, and the aspirations they have in mind.

Essentially the Responsibility comes in holding true to one another.

But for the purposes of cuckoldry and in this case the cuckold, what are the responsibilities or perhaps duties that may befall a cuckold in such a role. As with everything they can be tailored to best fit the needs of the two people involved, so desires and both physical and emotional needs are successfully met.

In my humble mind, the cuckold should always be working towards making his 'HotWifes' life a little easier all around. This is not in the capacity of being a slave, or simple servant but beginning to learn the ways that his Mistress enjoys to be taken care of. After all we as 'cuckolds' want our 'HotWives' lives to be enjoyable, relaxing, stress free and that they are made to feel loved, worshipped, cared for and absolutely treasured within the walls of their home. Loved and supported beyond belief and know that they have the absolute freedom to pursue and enjoy any pleasures they desire as a 'HotWife'.

So, to me this incorporates being able to assume duties of the home whether it be the laundry, or the cleaning. Things that in times gone by would have been perceived to fall to the traditional role of a 'HouseWife', which is not something I've ever subscribed to. Now in some relationships this element doesn't really change, its actually desired to remain the same. Personally, I believe that within a relationship it should be 50/50 all the way, both parties should be putting in equally to the continued success of the relationship, and how that gets divided up with respect to chores etc is set by the HotWife and cuck.

However, aside from the usual day to day. Where and what can a true 'cuckold' do to really recognise their responsibilities, and they are responsibilities....to ensure that his 'HotWife' is taken care of and is made to feel that on a daily basis. its about raising your game, setting the bar and doing things that actually could be considered some levels of foreplay but introducing them as a standard. After all, for a cuckolds' 'HotWife' to truly feel that they are living and becoming the role they so need, they must be treated in such a way that begins to introduce their 'HotWife' to a new life of being cared for, made to feel truly desired, wanted and aided in looking as Beautiful as they are for anyone they choose to play with. A new way of doing things, doing it properly with focus and commitment and allows them to embrace the life of a 'HotWife'.

Its about simple pleasures. Being genuinely thoughtful.

- From making coffee in the morning
- Taking the time in the day to listen, to hear and be open to all they need
- To love, encourage, and support all they are
- To encourage all their desires most absolutely
- To support their dreams and passions
- To Love unconditionally always
- A massage day or night
- Running a bath
- Bathing your 'HotWife' - not in a sexual manner but a tending/caring/loving way
- Flowers as and when - simply just because...and never associated with a traditional reason
- Arranging Beauty appointments (Manicures / Pedicures / Hair)
- Organising Massage Appointments to enhance wellbeing
- Surprise trips away
- Surprise thoughtful gifts. Never have to be expensive, its about the thought
- Demonstrate fidelity, commitment in thought and act
- Demonstrate belief in all you are as a 'cuckold'

As crazy as it sounds, irrespective of the dynamic, its about romance, simple romance. Taking the time to continually make the time and effort to show that very special someone that although you may never be permitted sexual penetrative pleasures again, your love for them continues to grow for them on a daily basis higher and higher, deeper and deeper. Because, all that will ever matter is letting your 'HotWife' know is just how they truly special they are to you in every aspect of your life together and it is them as a person that is the most important aspect in all you are together to you.

So, as the above meme says...in one line...don't talk it, do it, prove it and continue to back it up.

Definitively Chaste

Oh WOW.....has my sex drive gone into overdrive would be an understatement !!

Who would have thought that despite being self chaste, being used to the sensations, and enjoying actually wearing the cage, staying quite firm (poor choice of phrase but yes continual erections in the cage) with being self locked, that everything could truly intensify the moment all possession of any and all Lock keys were taken away.

So far the keys have been with my Mistress since Monday, its now only Wednesday and I feel completely and desperately Horny for Mistress, so many wonderful, sexy thoughts about Ms, in every single way above and beyond the kink desires. Mistress is so Beautiful, in ways that excite and create absolute desire for the person that Mistress is as a whole, possessing qualities that so very few will ever grasp in life, all the while deliciously understated and So so naturally Beautiful.

Horny, Yes !

Locked, Yes !

In the best place possible, locked for my Mistress..... Perfect.

Cleaning day will come on Monday, the cage will be checked.

After that, Ms had already implanted the thought of arranging a 'play' date at some point in the next couple of weeks, when we last met, which is something I have truly longed for. Mistress intends to 'cuck' me for the first time of many to come (hopefully) with a beautiful BBC, and I am assured that the pleasure will be all my Mistress's.... as of course it should always be. The frustration will be mine alone.....

So much to look forward to, to learn, to desire and to hope for, and that one day I may prove myself to be worthy of such a Beautiful Mistress.

Up and coming

Things of note that are up and coming::
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15th - Holy Metal

1st Tongue Piercing to be completed
To be Purple in colour

No trepidation about this.
Love the fact that the piercing(s) will be purposeful and hope that the myth of their benefits for Oral Worship will be proven true.
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16th - The First of Seven

First 7 days completed properly in Chastity / Day to be cleaned and checked

Will meet with Mistress so that the cage be checked, cleaning can be carried out and any issues discussed if necessary.
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20th - The Master of it all

Over the years I have known someone I consider to be a good, honest, kind, definitely kinky Master of all things leather. During some recent conversations with Ms I had mentioned that I had a long standing 'play' date already pencilled in and asked if it would still be appropriate. Given that Ms intends for me to become somewhat of a 'bi cuck cock slut' then it seemed the perfect blend.

After a little discussion with Ms, I emailed Master to make mention of Ms and I having embarked on a 'guided' cuckold journey and that Ms would be primarily responsible for overseeing my development and journey into becoming a dedicated lifetime 'cuckold'.  On two fronts I wanted to let Master know of my new situation, out of respect, and because we hadn't spoken in a while, work and life keeping us both busy. But, also to see if He would be interested in taking on my training in a personal capacity and teach, guide and make me proficient at the skills I would need going forward, primarily being able to offer exceptional cock sucking skills to any future Bull(s).

After consideration, Master replied and said understandably it would be best to discuss in person when we meet on the 20th. I am both thankful and grateful for His consideration with this and if mutually agreeable then it would become a situation where Ms and Master discuss separately their needs and desires in regards to my training. These are two people, who as individuals both have and deserve respect, they ask nothing, have hearts of gold and are both naturally kinky beyond belief....which only makes me want to make them both very proud. I have had many false starts within the context of the lifestyle, all the while wanting to find people to give my all too within the right situation... personally for me this is certainly as close to as possible.

Above all else, the desire I have to learn these skills from a Master has always been a natural one, but given my personal disposition, I have never been one to just go and play and prefer to be involved somehow within a personal context. With the dynamic developing between myself and Ms in respect of the cuckoldry, and the need for someone who not only understands intimately the needs, skills and mental and emotional involvement in a male to male sense, there is no one else I would consider to ask other than Master. My trust in Him is absolute, His own standards, pride in all things lifestyle and His passion for servitude is second to none.

I am hoping that come the 20th the conversation between Master and myself can be a mutually productive one and that something may well be possible going forward. Besides which Master has a beautiful cock, and damn does it taste good. And, most importantly I asked Ms for the consideration that Master's cock be the only white cock I ever serve as a 'cuckold' as my personal preference is to only serve Big black cock going forward, to which Ms wholeheartedly agreed.

As a sidebar, after unexpectedly being today effectively locked into a permanent state of chastity as a learned 'cuckold' I text Master with the news and suggesting that if Master had any wish for when we played on the 20th for the key to my chaste state, I could respectfully ask Ms to mail Master the key directly..... Masters reply was simple..... 'I have no need for your dick'... perfect.

Will update later on with the developments from the 20th.

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28th - 2nd Tongue Piercing to be completed
To be Pink in colour placed at the tip of the tongue

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Things are moving at the most natural rate and nothing seems impossible. I have the best reason and desire to please Ms in any and all ways possible and will do anything I have to, because anything less would be undeserving of the person Ms so very clearly is. Amazing what can be achieved when you put your mind to it.....

Unexpected but not.

Sometimes things come to you in thought, many desires, what if's and maybe's.

We may dream of things we'd like to try, or become. But we can never envisage the 'if', 'when', or 'how' or the manner of how they may happen.


Chastity -

I have been self chaste on and off for a couple of months. Using the Pink Holy Trainer for my lil cuck dicklet. During this time I have removed as and when for the purposes of discomfort but also struggled at time with maintaining some continuity with it.

Today changed all that.

My guiding Mistress already Owned one key to the cage, but today I asked Ms to consider keeping the second key. We discussed various options for both safety (Freezer locks etc) and hygiene (I seem to be able to complete about 7days before cleaning is necessary.) In my heart of hearts I knew that I wanted Ms to have both keys, but it wasn't my decision.

I always imagined that chastity would be something although known about and desired, that it would be invoked in some fashion, yet what happened was far beyond what I could've anticipated. I asked Ms to consider keeping both keys, and so very quickly with an excited glint in Her eye, the key was gone and I was chaste. It was perfect, no big moment....it was the perfect person for it to be too and it was accepted with every sentiment the moment deserved.

I am now a properly chaste 'cuck' and it feels so purposefully meant to be.

Collared -

As a thought I had ordered a handmade chainmaille collar from a Maille Artisan in the US. It arrived and was beautifully crafted. I have always loved the look and feel of chainmaille. Its stainless steel, heavy, robust and definitely fits the requirement of making a subtle statement in daily wear. It was something I had bought in the hope that one day Ms may feel if so inclined, and if approved as suitable, might be used in the only way a cuckold can dream of.

I had taken the chain and accompanying padlocks with me today for Ms to see and cast opinion on. It was a success and Ms loved the weight and feel. I had brought with me a selection of varying shades of Pink (there's that theme again) with me, as I'd found them in B&Q and thought they matched the Chastity cage quite well and hoped that Ms may find one desirable. It didn't take long and Ms definitely found one to Her liking and whilst we are at lunch in a popular restaurant, the Chain and padlocks lay upon the table for all to see. I'm sure the couple next to us had been wondering about both O/our conversation and what was upon the table.... funny how you so easily become just lost in conversation when the company is all that matters.

So, chain met with approval, Padlock colour was selected....and then came the question. 'what do we do with it now ?' ..... my only reply was 'that's up to You Ms' and in the middle of a busy lunchtime restaurant.....I was collared. I have no keys, Ms has both sets and so there is no way for it to be removed. Complete with Pink Padlock its now locked on.

So,

Beautiful day, with simply exquisite and the most Beautiful of company and that's not said lightly.

In Chastity and no means of escape
Collared and no keys

Even managed to make a little key ring for Ms with the spare links from the chain collar.

Just a perfect day in every sense. Completely unexpected but it really couldn't haven't been any more apt, and fits the two people involved in so many ways.

Key words

They shouldn't need to be mentioned nor highlighted but sometimes they get lost in translation, or we just forget as humans in todays society the baser civilities that we should extend to each other in a daily capacity, and even more so, more valuably within any form of relationship.

But here's a few;

- Trust
- Loyalty
- Respect
- Love
- Support
- Devotion
- Communication
- Honesty
- Integrity

Before even beginning this path I am on, I had the misfortune to be a part of some good, some bad and some just relationships. Part of the fault lay with me and I accept that, because we as individuals are not free of error and we all contribute to the success or failure of the relationships we are a part of. However, I found that after going through a particular difficult spell I understood that it was not appropriate to be with someone until I felt I was ready, could be myself and offer all I could be to the relationship because anything less would be disrespectful as a whole, but mostly to the other person.

So, in order to get to this point I have done a fair bit of self evaluation, wandering through my own thoughts and recognising and accepting the mistakes of the past, good and bad, and learning from them as best I can. To me, its important to both understand and recognise some of the decisions that you've made and why they may or may not have been successful before you can truly begin to move forward free of emotional baggage.

Once you get to this point it means that you are open, receptive and completely ready for the path ahead. In a free emotional state, either in the best shape physically or working to become the best you can be and offer as a future 'cuckold'. The whole point is that much like dating where we all to some degree preen ourselves pre date, we should be able to offer on a continual basis someone that a future Mistress would be proud to own, after all you are a reflection of them, even if they do not desire you sexually, you represent them as a symbolic 'toy' that they choose to own for their own pleasure or entertainment.

Wholeheartedly I believe in the key words at the top of this list. But personally I choose to add two more which I find equally if not more important;

- Reciprocation
- Chivalry

Nothing can ever become what it has the potential to become without either party putting in their fullest effort and matching each other step for step, never holding back from one another. If they hit a hurdle then they hit it together, take it in their stride and work through it come what may. If you can find someone who can match those thoughts and your efforts then you're off to the very best of starts. Because, in a nutshell the lifestyle dynamic of Mistress/cuckold will be one of the most challenging you will ever undertake. It will test your every natural fibre of moral and understanding because society has dictated what you should expect and accept, so some readjustment to emotion and mental approach will take place as the experiences mount up.

In respect of chivalry, a Lady is a Lady no matter what your personal thoughts may be. Take it back to Adam and Eve in its simplest form. Without one or the other we need one another to make the world go round whether in a relationship, or as friends, or as Lovers. So the essence of chivalry from a man to woman is just an extension and courtesy of treating the fairer sex with respect and treating them in a gentile manner....nothing is lost and respect can be gained. Think of it this way, think of those who have no understanding of what chivalry entails, then think of what such a small act as holding a door can do for someone.

Ultimately its not all about whips and chains, or kinky fetishes, its also about remembering to appreciate one another, being self aware enough to know if you are ready and can offer someone the very best of you because anything less would be pointless. We need to rekindle our love affair with some of these words and meanings because in todays world we are fast becoming a throwaway society that cares little for invested time in anything.  Ultimately if you can tough it out, pull through, work at it, it will be the most rewarding, liberating and strong relationships you will ever have....and leave you wanting nothing else.

Marked

                              

   

Tattoo's or being Inked as some refer to it.

Its a statement, a bold declaration and inescapable.

Fantasy or reality ? That is the question. Are you committed to the chosen life of 'cuckoldry' come what may, or is it a passing fetish phase that you're merely exploring.

If your answer is that you're committed to this lifestyle then in all likelihood, its probably not a step too far to have considered at some point whether you would willingly accept such a mark of permanence on your body, a declaration that you are indeed a 'cuckold' for the world to see and pass scrutiny upon. For the others there are always temporary tattoos to explore with.

However, to my mind if you have already chosen the path of 'cuckoldry' then the acceptance and understanding in the present and the future, is the desire of your Mistress, Queen of Spades, or HotWife....and if it were to please them then surely that is all that would matter.

If you are going to do something then it mustn't be half hearted, as it simply shows a lack of commitment and respect to the person you have chosen to be with and try to become worthy of. Of course finding someone who can truly reciprocate your every effort, every step of the way is one of the hardest parts.

But, I reason this. To be tattooed in such a manner that could be generic in one form....with a simpler statement such as the word 'cuckold' is only to acknowledge your own chosen path and the role which you feel fits you best. If you choose to make it more personal then perhaps over time and with the right partner then this could incorporate some essence of personal style or reference whether in name or influence.  It removes that problematic area of being marked in such a way and then regretfully having it either covered up with a different design or adjusted in such a situation. And if such a problem was to arise the last thing anyone wants is for their to be the loss of love for the life you have chosen as a 'cuckold'.

This also raises another point to this. Should it be a 'cuckold's' choice to be marked in such a way, should they really have any say. Yes it is of course their body but within the remit of the cuckoldry dynamic after having willingly entered such an arrangement, the body they have for all intents and purposes is no longer theirs so to speak, as everything they do usually has a permission basis attached to it when it comes to lifestyle aspects. This does all depend on the safe, sane and consensual applications of common agreement within the lifestyle as a whole.

My personal desire has always been to find someone who is much stronger than I am, not in a physical sense but that we both know they have the power over me. Submission is always a gift but in some ways not only must it be given, but it must be taken someone who wishes to not only own it, but play with it, tease it, torment it, love for it and care above and beyond.  To find that one person who could invoke permanent chastity without asking (tied to a bed & locked up works?), or makes the step to take their 'cuckold' to the local artist and have them marked in such a way.  This of course all depends on the strength of the relationship, the boundaries of trust and the depth of commitment and only those involved will know inherently and understand just how far each other can go.

My leaving thought is this.

In the right circumstance, with the right Mistress, is there anything you wouldn't do, to become everything they need and be able to do anything they ask of you. To be marked, pierced, fulfil a task, address your Mistress in the way in which they desire and stipulate for particular settings irrespective of surroundings....does anyone else matter at all, so long as you can make your Mistress proud of you, proud that your sole focus is upon them.

And whilst my own journey is only in its infancy, recently my 'guiding' Mistress asked me to converse with the piercing studio W/we are using for my tongue piercings, and highlight the fact that through discussion with my Mistress, I was to request a certain colour option as it matched my locked chastity cage. This I duly did and Bcc'd my Mistress to the email. So whilst I may put thoughts to paper albeit electronically, I am willing to go every step of the way in this journey as far as my own capabilities will take me and find myself ready to be marked in such a way that there is no turning back and am committed to the life of becoming the best 'cuckold' I can be. 

If you can achieve this most beautiful of headspace then you're nearly ready to become everything you desire in life as a 'cuckold'.....to live the dream, you must first dream it. To become the dream, you must live through it.

QoS ?

What is the definition of a 'Queen of Spades'.... 

Its an interesting question. There are various terms and phrases that basically relate to the same thing that is white women, married or otherwise, who enjoy sex in all its forms with Black men, so much so that they choose to become devotedly Black cock only eventually.

It seems that amongst women of varying ages there is a growing subculture who are choosing to embrace and become 'Queen of Spades'. Symbolically this is often seen as either a temporary tattoo, or for those truly committed a permanent one, as a sign of their devotion and absolute preference to Black men only. For most women they choose to keep it hidden away from prying eyes and only really reveal it when in their own comfortable surroundings with likeminded souls.

However, when exposed it suggests that those women are available for sex exclusively with Black men at that moment, of course the usual boundaries should always be respected.

At a deeper level there is a philosophy behind this subculture that alludes to making women see themselves as very deep 'property of Black men'. So, it goes way beyond just expressing a sexual desire, its a bold statement, a declaration of preference irrespective of their existing situations. What may begin as a fantasy exploration could transcend into more occasional play, thus in turn evolving into regular play partners who become known as 'Bulls', and then the eventual transformation to Black only....leading to the evolution from Wife to 'HotWife' or 'Queen of Spades'.

Personally, I find it one of the if not the most erotic ways a woman can be. I have been privileged to watch such Ladies without fear of recrimination, enjoy carnal pleasures within a public setting, and watch how their bodies go on a journey from tentative and nervous, to relaxing and accepting their own inner desires and enjoying the pleasures that they so deeply need for fulfilment. They are free to express and pursue the Black man they so badly crave, the huge cock that comes with it and the proper fucking that follows. Its a fuck that is carnal, not devoid of emotion but passionate, its without boundaries and searching only for mutual orgasm and pleasure provision. It is a statement that the white woman wants so badly the Black man to take Her and more often than not right in front of Her white partner. There are 'QoS' women who choose to eventually deny their committed partner any form of sexual penetration in favour of Black men, limiting their only sexual pleasure in the provision of Oral Worship, or being milked when permitted release from their chaste existence. Sounds about perfect to me.

Whilst not everyone will agree in one way or another. I truly think that it takes one hell of a woman to openly admit that they have needs that must be met, not hidden away, denied and churning away inside destructively. On the one hand they find the comfort and security of a traditional relationship with a same race partner, provides all the emotional stability they need, but doesn't address the physical desire and need they have. The bravery and associated risk comes in being secure enough within themselves to go against the grain and expectations of a society, choosing to initially discuss with their committed partner the growing need for Black men, and then move forward with their partners unconditional love and support. This of course is where the birth of a QoS/cuckold dynamic may begin to evolve if both partners are deeply committed to making it work with one another.

Its a beautiful journey, ready to be embraced and reward those who choose to invest themselves....

What is...

.... a 'cuckold' ?

What does it mean.

What does it represent.

And who has the capacity to become one.

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These are all questions I've asked myself a number of times over the years. From the first point I begun to think about and investigate all things chastity to recognising the desire, attraction and wanting of seeing a partner get fucked, or just be teased with the reality that they had been without me.

For the purposes of clarity. Whilst I understand in my own mind what I am going forward trying to find and achieve, until this time I have remained strictly monogamous. Its a part of my inner design and makeup and something I feel honoured never to have swayed from. To a degree I recognise that my own limitations have restricted me from exploring the very open field of play of swinging, its admittedly just never appealed. Yet I know that I have the ability and the gift to be able to be with someone and give them encouragement, unconditional love and support to go forward and pursue their own sexual desires, free from recrimination or emotional backlash. And, in some way it takes a great deal of strength singularly and as a couple to reach that very point together.

So, to me a 'cuckold' is this. A male partner who is not wholly submissive nor distinctly Alpha, they are just themselves. Secure in their own abilities and capabilities and recognising that the love they can offer someone who desires something they cannot offer whether it be a Black cock, or a huge cock...or even both, can be given unconditionally.  That the 'cuckold' takes great pride in being with that special someone, knowing that they both communicate effectively about where their journey will be taking them and how they plan to reach their goals together and always working to protect the love they have for one another above all else. Its a relationship that enable each other to truly flourish within their naturally desired roles and completely become who they know they are and need to be at heart. Its a partnership of two sides which serve only to complement one another.

The 'cuckold' is reduced to somewhat of a submissive remaining chaste. They can offer servitude in various forms from the widely acknowledged and desired Oral Worship post date, to taking pride in readying a 'HotWife' or 'Queen of Spades' for their date with their chosen Bull. Of course it can go way beyond this and evolve into a more widely structured role, where chauffeuring a 'HotWife' to and from dates, or attending all the needs of the household become a natural position. Ultimately its up to those within such a dynamic to search and edit where and what they need from the dynamic and what fulfils their needs and desires most accurately.

For me, I think there are certain aspects which greatly appeal but because nothing is set in stone, its a constantly evolving one full of twists and turns as more ideas and suggestions come to fruition.  Some people see 'cuckolds' as weak within the context of the kink lifestyle but I think the reverse is true. Whilst its certainly not desirable to openly view a 'cuckold' within an event environment as being strong, respect must and should be given or acknowledged, it'll go a long way with the 'HotWife' too.

Lets face it many marriages fail supposedly for the very reason of adultery, yet here we are talking about someone who is willing to let their partner go off and do exactly that, they haven't been beaten into it as a lifestyle, they've made a choice to be a part of it, thats not weak but assertive. A misnomer is that there is link between chastity, cuckoldry and penile dysfunction and this leads to these type of relationships evolving. For myself, my lil cock works just fine rest assured. My sex drive is off the wall most days and my mental state and desire is wholly focused on cuckoldry....lol.

And yet I long to find someone to truly take away my own ability for orgasm, to deny me all that they are sexually and spending a lifetime desiring for all time all they are and yearning to be so intimate with them, yet permanently denied pussy, anal, mouth or even touching breasts....let me know if you understand that one....because it still seems nuts to me.

An Event of firsts

No ordinary party was how it was introduced to me as an idea.

During a discussion with my 'guiding' Mistress, W/we discussed the idea of attending my first event and there was a particular one in mind. I would have to attend as a single 'cuckold', but it would afford me the opportunity to sample first hand everything I was aspiring to become in one of the most respected settings for such an event. 

With this in mind I respectfully approached the Host about the idea of attending as a single 'cuckold', and offered assurances that I would be respectful, observe, learn, and act in my capacity as a hopeful 'cuckold'. My request was met with great positivity and after some exchanges between the Host and my Mistress, who very kindly offered vetting for my candidature, I was offered the opportunity to attend.

This is no ordinary party and its Hosts have worked hard to create something both unique and truly special, having built a reputation for blending several defined 'core' themes (IR, cuckoldry with a twist of D/s) understanding the very specific needs of their Guests and for attracting guests who tend to be far more liberated than most both in mind and physicality state. 

On arrival you will be greeted by gracious Hosts and a warm welcome, and a scene to set the pulses racing which feature beautiful and very sexy 'QoS', established 'cuckold couples', and not to mention extremely well presented virile single “Bulls”. Respect is evident whatever your disposition and the setting is unique in that it provides both public and private play areas suitable for all tastes.

A recipe for success no doubt.

After some trepidation throughout the week in deciding what best to wear which would be both most suitable and respectful to my 'guiding' Mistress, I was after all attending with Her consent, and intended to present myself in a way which would only serve to make Her proud., it was decided something formal would be most suitable. Hmm there's a recurring theme with pink again lol.

Pre-event instructions were given by Mistress and come the night I was ready to attend. Now I've attended a number of events over the years of varying degrees and not a lot phases me. But something in me was nervously excited and whilst no alarm bells were ringing or second guessing, I knew that I was taking the first steps into something that would either confirm or deny my own inner thoughts and desires.  

And yet, I walked up to the door and right through it with no hesitation.

My instructions had been clear from Mistress, and were as follows;

- Arrive by 2215
- Mistress had requested a pic on my arrival
- My Holy Trainer was to be checked as being present by the Host (which was done in front of many people)
- I must obey any/all requests for Oral Servitude, either by a 'QoS' or BBC
- Display my cage freely to anyone who may show interest in it and requests to see it.
- Upon my departure I must txt Mistress
- Once Home Mistress had requested that I email all thoughts about the night as it would still be fresh in my mind.

So, what was it like without giving too much away. It was everything I had envisaged and hoped for. In honesty the only drawback was knowing that I was there, it was the right place but just no one special to be able to share it with. Hopefully in time, that will happen.

** Whilst this post is new this first event I attended was earlier in the Year and as a result I have been able to attend another more recently, which has only served to reinforce my own pursuit of such a life as a 'cuckold' in servitude to a Mistress I could become worthy of one day **

Evolution (Pt 2)

And so the journey continues.

The other day I asked my 'guiding' Mistress what was thought about tongue piercings. Its always been a fascination, especially being drawn to the correlation between an oral piercing and the added mythical benefits often mentioned in helping to provide more stimulation in the pursuit of repeated orgasms during cunnilingus.

To my mind, if as a 'cuckold' I am unable to be of any use in a penetrative sexual manner, undesired by a Beautiful Mistress, who desires Black cock only. That my role is to provide oral worship and this becomes my version of 'sex' then I must adjust my mentality and do all I can to enhance the pleasure provision where and however I can to my Mistress. Oral piercings, and the thought of using vibrating tongue piercings, albeit at the time untried by me, are at the forefront of my mind in being able to provide my Mistress with as much pleasure as possible in-between Her dates with Bulls.

After providing Mistress with some further information and a few pictures to peruse, a decision was made that at the very least it would be worth finding out. So, in obedient 'cuckold' fashion I made some enquiries at the same Studio which had recently pierced my nipples at Mistress's behest.

After some professional advice and discussion about what piercings could be possible, it was decided by Mistress that two inline piercings (as shown above) were desired. Due to the healing process I would need to allow approximately two weeks between each piercing, allowing sufficient time for the associated swelling from each to subside, and the healing to take place. Tongue piercings are reputed to be the least painful of piercings and apparently the quickest healing.....which is amazing considering just how much blood and muscle is held within the tongue.

So, the Appointments have been made and the first is on the 15th May, the second piercing will be done all being well on the 28th May. Mistress has indicated that colour choice should be pink and purple and that I must email this instruction to the Studio. Interestingly at the same time I will also be having my nipple rings changed and the colours will also be purple and pink.

Hopefully, I'll be able to update in the next few weeks after these have been successfully installed.

Emerging themes'

I ordered one of these a while back. The idea stems back to previous BDSM experiences and a love I have the artisan craft that is Chainmaille. Its handcrafted beauty, robustness, and bold statement when worn draw me to it much more than something from a labelled fetish store.

A pink lock has been selected by my guiding Mistress, interestingly the colour matches my Holy Trainer, seems there is a theme remerging indeed. Though I suspect the idea of a pink padlock being visible may have had something to do with it too......

One day, I hope to earn the privilege to wear it daily without removal.

Potent Imagery

This was an image that started it all for me. Its admittedly not to everyones tastes, but it is to mine.

A Beautiful 'QoS', Her Bull and dressed both elegantly and sexually wrapped in sensual fur.

Its taboo in a number of ways....yet strangely it resonates in so many other ways. The picture to is full of desire, chemistry, lust, sensuality and power exchange. Its an embrace of all that is pure sexual chemistry and wanting.

Sardax

'Sardax', You are the Master at capturing something so well. The images of 'Sardax' have provided some of my most intimate forms of inspiration over the years....even explained some desires.

Thank You for Your art.

Evolution (Pt 1)

If a 'cuckold' is not desired to be of sexual use by a 'QoS' or 'HotWife' then what is their ultimate purpose.

To my mind its about the provision of pleasure in other forms.

One of the most powerful acts a 'cuckold' can offer is in escort of the their 'QoS' to events or of course meetings with aspiring BBC Bulls. My guiding Beautiful Mistress made the suggestion to me that wouldn't it be fantastic to lead a 'cuckold' into an event on a nipple chain, after I commented I had once had my nipples pierced.

So, guess what. After seeking consent. Within a week I was duly pierced. It will take about 12wks for them to heal and be ready for any form of play and the idea is to have them gauged up in size to rings which are more substantial and be able to take little weight and tension. The idea /suggestion was made and it was done....no hesitation.

The point is a 'cuckolds' body whilst it is no longer required for any form of penetrative sexual pleasure, it can still become a pleasurable toy for a 'QoS' to play with as they desire. There should be no lengths to which a 'cuckold' should not go in remoulding their body and mind to their new role and life as a devoted 'cuckold'.

A chaste search

Well after much debating, and back and forth I finally took the plunge.

Over time I've read numerous reviews about various devices and fitment and design and what the many pitfalls may be, or not. Of course each type of chastity device works with differing degrees of success or failure for those who choose to explore this fascinating element of the lifestyle.

For myself as a burgeoning 'cuckold', I took the plunge on the recommendation of my guiding Mistress, who chooses to keep Her lucky 'cuck' locked in one for most of the time. I was able to work out the sizing and what I thought may work correctly and after seeking Mistress's counsel opted for the pink colour option. This in itself seemed a little odd. For me personally there are no hidden deep seated desires for discovering 'sissy' play which so often the colour pink is most associated. I personally felt that if a 'cuckold' is reduced to nothing more than an oral slut for his 'QoS' then something fitting and even humiliating should be worn and noticeably so.

And therein lies another interesting learning curve. The growing fascination with humiliation play in some form, albeit handled with love and respect. Its a growing desire and not sure where it could lead potentially.

Back to the cage. The Holy Trainer V2. Ordered direct from Switzerland. Size small because white cocks just are in comparison to the beauty of Big Black Cocks.

I've had this now for a couple of months and the fitment is good. Its been successful mostly but am still struggling with achieving a complete day and night combination. Half the trouble is if the morning or nightly erections become too painful its all too easy to remove and release the pressure from the cage. There have been nights and days where I have worn it for complete durations but I've also found that about 5 days is a maximal limit in terms of hygiene as the cage doesn't allow for closer cleaning under a shower.

I do know that I need to become a bit more focused on working through some of the issues of wearing it day and night and allow my body more time physically and emotionally to adjust. However with the recent warmer weather I had a bit of a bad day recently and combined with the morning ritual of Mistress induced 'grinding' I managed to achieve what I have come to call 'the ring of fire', a round bruising around my testes. To be honest I'm not sure if this caused more by the discomfort of a work day and the plastic material / body heat, or the earlier grinding.

Either way, its a work in progress. Ideally I'd like to pursue being put into a Mature Metal or Steelwork design, but as the cost for such devices is not exactly cheap its a tough one to invest and just hope and pray you measured correctly and not waste money.

For the time being I'll persevere with the Holy Trainer.

In the Beginning

In the beginning (Jan '16)

How do I start this. Well like every story it has a starting point, somewhere.

Over the years a fascination with and exploration of many things kink. Perhaps not playing as much as I would have liked, but nonetheless more than most. Initially my foray into kink had begun with all things leather and heavy bondage (I blame Pulp Fictions gimp). It was the being rendered useless that I found a love for, the ability to just be, and of course be used, completely at someone else's mercy. My only downside was that it was never able to last long enough, all the while achieving that invaluable 'subspace' we all search for.

Over time an intrigue with chastity, its denial and the side of frustration from orgasm denial seemed to become more and more of interest. It was experimented with in the early days using a few initial devices but none really fit that well and some broke, eventually moving onto leather chastity shorts, which were sadly not ideal for everyday.

Why and how did this interest in chastity come about ?  I don't really know if there were pinpoint moments or a particular pearl of wisdom that suggested it. At the time when it emerged I was in a long term relationship, and sex was available ironically. In truth, whilst I've always enjoyed penetrative sex in different forms and have a rather high sex drive, my personal pleasure has always been the provision of Oral worship. I have wondered if what I have been searching for is somebody to recognise my desire for sex and orgasms, have the individual and personal strength to take them away physically, emotionally and then play, tease and torment me with them. Alas, no one has yet to come forth.

Over the last few years I've chosen to remain 'single' for a number of reasons. In part because other factors were such more prevalent over time but also because I felt that a traditional relationship was not for me anymore, and that perhaps it never was. This of course led to some self analysis, some thought about what my desires are truthfully, not the internet porn fantasy of what we dream to be, or have. What came out of this was a realisation and overriding desire for chastity and oral servitude. Without realising I had also discovered a desire and huge fetish in seeing 'Queen of Spades' or 'HotWives' in action. There was something not only about the taboo of white women with Black men but the rendering of what we know as a modern day 'cuckold' Husband/partner becoming effectively surplus to requirements sexually, with exception to the beauty that is 'oral cleanup'.

So, I'd reached a point where I'd identified a love of Oral Worship, Chastity and the revelation and beauty of the 'QOS' phenomena. What could be better I thought....now how do I go about meeting someone who would desire a partner who is willing to support their sexually liberated freedom with Black guys and would be desired to be kept locked in a cock cage. Mad isn't it.

What woman in Her right mind would want to own a partner, keep them in permanent chastity and fulfil own their sexual desires as and when they pleased with their 'cuckolds' absolute love, support and encouragement to truly pursue and go about defining the role of a 'Queen of Spades' who is passionately devoted solely to Black cock.

So in short I've narrowed it down to this as things to look for;

- Searching for a 'Queen of Spades' that is Black cock only.
- 'QoS' requires Chastity for Her partner
- Sex (pussy/ass and touching of breasts) are denied to the 'cuckold'
- Kissing between 'QoS' and 'cuckold' is never denied
- Oral Worship is a privilege

It should go without saying that fundamentally everything begins with a foundation from which to begin and begin to build towards the desired end result. Hopefully by identifying and understanding my own needs it may make me more appealing to someone who may be searching from the opposite side of the coin, only time will tell.

At the time of writing this initial entry, I have been fortunate enough to meet a Beautiful Mistress and 'QoS' who has agreed wholeheartedly to help guide my initial journey into the beautiful world of cuckoldry. For this I will be forever grateful, having shown me a kindness and openness in understanding my desires and permitting a platform to better understand my future role.

And now the journey has begun.